Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My Lucky 13

If you had told me what my 2013 would be like, say, 12-ish months ago, I would've told you that the number 13 was living up to its reputation nicely and that it should probably go to time-out now. This year was hard, people. Like, haaaaaard. But when things are haaaaaaard, usually that means you learn a lot and you grow a lot and you become more mature (and probably better looking) and stuff. This year, the Lord used some challenging situations to teach me a LOT. About myself, about Him, and a little bit about what this life is supposed to be. I'm not sure if I absorbed all of the lessons I was supposed to learn or not, but I'd like to think that I hung on to some good ones. :)

  • You control you.
  • We all have brains that are really good at holding cool and interesting things. Worry isn't cool or interesting so get out, mister.
  • Trust the Lord cuz sorry, He's smarter than you.
  • Sometimes forgiveness means setting yourself free. Getting an apology would just be a bonus.
  • Trying new things is fun!
  • Just because someone has a grumpy face doesn't mean he's a meanie.
    • In fact, he could end up being one of the funniest, kindest people you know! Some people just look grumpy because the corners of their mouth naturally turn down. Or maybe he just didn't hear you when you said hello.
  • Listening to other people makes for strong friendships. Plus, you get to hear all kinds of cool secrets.
  • Love love lovelovelove. See? That word's not so scary.
  • Life is too short to not drink milk in a wine glass.
    • Technically, I knew that one already, but a little reminder never hurts.
  • Money can't buy happiness.
    • But some smart retail therapy can definitely put you on the right path.
  • Make wherever you are the happiest place in the world.
  • Be your own best friend. Don't be afraid to be alone and don't be afraid to like it.
  • The atonement of Jesus Christ > Everything else

I hope you all know that I didn't make this list to talk about all of the things I mastered this year. In fact, reading over it made me a little sad at first because usually learning a lesson means you didn't do so well at it the first time. ...That's a lot of things I didn't do very well at up there^, people. But, I guess that must be where that last bullet point comes in. Thanks to our Savior Jesus Christ, it's ok that we don't do so well at it the first time. Because of His sacrifice for us, we get to try again any old time we're ready. He'd probably even shake a pair of pom poms around if you asked Him to. So bring on 2014. I've got my 'to do' list all ready to go. :)
If you wouldn't mind, just ask me really quick what I think about the past year, say, now-ish. I'll probably say something like, "Unlucky? 13 was a gold mine, you crazy."

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


There's an email address at BYU Broadcasting, forbidden to "all who do not wish to die a most painful death". It's called 'BYUB All'. If one were to ever send an email using this address, the information included must be both critical and relevant to every single employee or else everyone hates you. (Sometimes they do anyway. Especially when it has to do with throwing all of their food away if they leave it in the fridge.)

Usually, I don't like sending these emails, even when my supervisor asks me to. But today, on my last day of work ever, I wanted to real bad. If I had, it probably would've said something like this:


Some of you call me Kelli. Some of you never learned my name and still call me Kim. Some of you know me as 'that girl with curly red hair who might be Abby's twin'. Or maybe you don't know me at all. It doesn't really matter to me that much. The point is that I always thought the concept of a 'second family' was stupid. Until my second family became all 508 of you.

There are, figuratively, pages and pages of rough drafts crumpled around me full of things I wanted this to say, all making vows of everlasting love that probably would've creeped you out, but not one of them sounded like my heart feels. So. Until someone comes up with a language for that, can I just say, thanks for being my BYUB All. <3

Your receptionist"

Friday, November 29, 2013

The Girl in the Orange Skirt

Yesterday, before we left for Thanksgiving dinner, I noticed that my red toenail polish completely clashed with the orange skirt I was wearing. It looked awful and my first instinct was to be embarrassed because "people will think I don't even know how to dress myself". Alison assured me that it looked fine and we left, but it got me thinking: What if I didn't care what people thought about me? What would I do? Or not do?

If it wasn't for caring what people think, it wouldn't bother me that I'm not married yet. I'd smile at every stranger, I'd ask people about things I remember them telling me without being afraid that it might seem creepy. I'd go to every chalk tray on BYU campus and blow all the dust out because I've wanted to do that since the day I got here. I'd go up in a hot air balloon and shout my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the world (and I'd probably drop some parachute Book of Mormons because how cool would that be.) I'd lift weights with the boys. I wouldn't be embarrassed when I have to use the restroom or cry because most humans do those things. I wouldn't feel like I have to pretend I'm texting every time I feel awkward. I'd never feel awkward (WHAT). I wouldn't cover my mouth after every bite I take. I'd study on Saturday when I need to. I'd take ballet and ballroom dance and I'd teach Zumba. I'd take a break in the middle of the RB stairs to breathe and I'd yell "I feel like someone's stabbing me with a machete!" when I finally got to the top cuz it's true. I'd run when I'm wearing a backpack. I'd skip when I'm happy. I'd look up when I walk because I like looking at people and I'm proud to be me.

Your turn. :) What would YOU do if you weren't afraid of what people might think of you?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Theme: NA

  • I couldn't hold the plank in Pilates today because my teacher turned on the country version of "Angels" instead of the David Archuleta version and I had to take a barf break. 
  • There's a country version of "Angels". Who does that?
  • I just tried to brush some crumbs off my lap, but my pinky got caught in my lanyard, which swung up and hit me in the face.
  • I didn't think I had time to eat my grapes AND get to class so I stuffed them all in my cheeks and just released one at a time while I walked.
  • In Pilates, there was a piece of dried up gum by my hand so I flicked it away. Into the boy next to me.
  • Last night in apartment prayer, Syd prayed that our dates would go well this weekend in hopes that we'd get dates for this weekend so that they could go well. Gum boy is not an option. 
  • I wish my supervisors wouldn't close the door when they go into each others' offices because what are they talking about in there?
  • 4-chlorobenzaldehyde
  • I could probably do whatever I wanted and get away with it because no one ever suspects the girl with curly hair. 
  • Pregnant women are so lovely.
  • I shed so much, I could donate to Locks of Love without even getting a haircut.
  •  Someone told me she liked my glasses because they magnify my eyes like Professor Trelawny. I said thank you. 
  • Isn't it awesome that I go to a school where I can pray over my sandwich right in the middle of the world and no one even blinks an eye??
  • Namaste.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Happy Holidays!

So Christmas came early this year. I am so full of…the only word I can think of is happy. Like if I smile for 2 more seconds I’ll be setting some kind of record, happy. I’ve kind of been wondering how to write this one for a while. Aaaaand I still don’t really know how so…I hope you were one of those weird kids in elementary school who liked “Chef’s Surprise’ day.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been worrying and worrying about what I’m going to do with my life. I love my major more and more every day, exercise is my passion and I adore the things I’ve been learning about over the years, but I don’t know how to put all of that into a career. Even if I did, I’ll never be very good at the whole ‘competitive business world’ thing. There’s always someone smarter, someone more professional, or someone who looks like less of a freak when they do Zumba. (For the record, if I had it my way, no one would have a job and we’d just barter with gum wrappers and other things I could find on the ground, but whatever.) I’ve been frustrated because I feel like the Lord keeps saying, “It doesn’t matter what you do. Just do good things.” Um, yeah but…WHAT DO I DO? I can’t put food on the table with smiles and “one free back massage” coupons.

EXCEPT. Good news. J I think I finally figured it out. A job will come eventually. I know how to work hard, I have the knowledge I need, and things have a way of working out. But at the end of the day, I’m not here just to get a fabulous job and make tons of money. (Although, if that’s a dibs thing…dibs.) I’m here to prove that I can live a life full of ‘good things’. Make life easier for the kid sitting next to me right now, because he needs me. Smile to remind him that life is a beautiful thing because then he'll smile back and I’ll remember it too. Be happy when I come home at the end of the day, even if I’m a little stressed. Cut it out with stupid Monday blues. Who has time for that anyways? Turn wherever I am into the happiest place in the world. The answer to my question is still, “It doesn’t matter what you do. Just do good things.” The difference is, now I know what that means! I just have to live my life. This is going to be so fun!

Like I said, this was basically just a “Kelli wants to tell you guys how happy she is so you can be too but she doesn’t really know how” session so…that’s pretty much it. I just figure, if the Lord’s still putting breath into these little lungs, I should probably make sure that every day I’m using it for something important. 

Love, Kelli

P.S. Sorry to you people who thought my blog was just going to be a couple of dorky one-liners every once in a while. Oopsie!

Thursday, August 29, 2013


I say Bingo a lot. Funnily enough, it's not usually when I'm playing Bingo. I say it when I'm really happy about something. Like when my favorite song comes on the radio, when a friend has exciting news, or when I go grocery shopping and see that Oreos are on sale.

I tell you this for two reasons:
1) I'm about to say it again, but when I do, I want you to take me seriously because
2) This summer, I have been reeeeeally happy about something. His name is Jesus Christ.

I've been learning about Jesus since before I can remember. Mary and Joseph were His parents. He's my big brother. When he was 12, He was already teaching men who should've been a lot smarter than a little boy. He did nice things for everyone, even when they were mean to Him. His fishing skills put those guys on Deadliest Catch to shame. He suffered for me. He bled from every pore for me. And then He died on something called a cross for me.

Believing those things really made my life beautiful. Through trial and error, I discovered that living my life the way people told me He lived His made me happy. It seemed as perfect as a fairy tale. Except that sometimes it felt a little bit too much like a fairy tale. Don't get me wrong. I continued to believe it, no matter what kinds of doubts popped up because more than anything else, I wanted to know it was true. I just had a hard time putting my complete trust in someone that floated just a hair too far from my fingertips. It's a beautiful story. But could something that seemed so incredible actually be real?

Fast forward to this summer. I'd come home after a year that had been much more challenging, confusing, and difficult than I'd expected and I was feeling broken. Needless to say, I was thrilled at the prospect of having four months away from everything. I had a part-time job set up, I'd be with my family, I'd get to spend time with my best friend before she left for her mission, and I'd have the time and hopefully the clarity to reassess who exactly it was I wanted to be. Beautiful plan. :) Oh boy. I had NO idea.

You guys, this summer, I got to know Jesus Christ. I put away the distracting music. I spent time with my Bible and my Book of Mormon. I looked closer at my life and started to notice His hand woven into every bit of it. I took the testimonies of friends and family that I'd been hearing my whole life and then I prayed to my Heavenly Father asking if He could maybe help me to see what it was they saw. Then I shut off my mind and listened to Him with my heart instead.

Could something that seems so incredible actually be real? Um. It's real. People. He's real. He suffered for you. He loves you. Oh my heavens, He loves you. But don't just take my word for it! Learn for yourself. Because then you can say it with me...

Bingo. :)


Thursday, July 4, 2013

America: The World's Flavortown

It was really hard for me to write this one. I think because...
1) America is more than just a cool place to live. It's woven into every part of our lives and it's kind of who we are. How in the world do you write about something like that?
2) I tried to make a Top 10 American Things list and this Guy kept being 1-10

So here are Kelli's American ramblings. I've laid them all out in hopes that everyone can connect in one way or another. If not, you come up with some too! It's fun. :)

America is watching Schoolhouse Rock in 6th grade. It's family road trips and getting chocolate all over your face. It's seeing the Big Dipper shine over the Grand Canyon and decorating your dorm room on your first day of college.

America is when Michael Jackson sang at the end of Free Willy, when Whitney Houston had the most gorgeous smile of all time, when Space Jam was the cinematic adventure of the century.

America is wiggling your toes in the sand, pie-eating contests, and jello that looks like the American flag. It's I Love Lucy, pretending to be a spy with your Walkie Talkie, and the smooth and fabulous Nat King Cole. It's the smell of a baseball field, sunflower seeds, and eating ice cream with a spork.

America is going to Walmart in your pajamas, watching Duck Dynasty and wishing you had a beard like that. It's Broadway, Betty Spaghetti, wearing toe socks, and Missy Franklin.

America is dancing to Mmmbop, eating Disney princess fruit snacks, and sunsets like this...

America is that my favorite scripture verse is in the Book of Mormon, the passion in a Southern Baptist choir, and the day I got to visit an Islamic Mosque.

America is the spirit of sacrifice and patriotism, holding a sobbing stranger in my arms when her husband died in Iraq, and when a man dressed in camo boards an airplane to a round of applause.

America is making snow angels, playing hopscotch, and Christmas traditions. It's having lots of siblings that I love, eating dinner as a family, and cheering for the first winner of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...


America is getting a picture with Mickey Mouse, belly flops, and sunburns. It's lemonade stands and playing cards. It's picking raspberries in Grandma's backyard, Grandpa's barbershop quartet, and the Andy Griffith theme song. It's the day my brother went on a mission because he wanted to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the world.

America is watching men and women sacrifice everything for people they don't even know when tragedies like 9/11, the Boston Marathon explosion, and the Oklahoma tornadoes happen. It's when I was 9 years-old and being American gave me the courage to walk past the bathroom when I thought Osama bin Laden was hiding in the shower.

See what I mean? I'm not sure how things would've been different living anywhere else. Honestly, I'm not even sure I can distinguish all of our freedoms because I've never known anything else. But I know what my life's been like living in this beautiful country and I'm so grateful for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure crumpets are delicious and I have a doll named Elizabeth, but I'm not a fan of bowing and the star has always been my favorite shape.
Happy Fourth. :)


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Girls' Camp

-where everything becomes 10 times more hilarious than it really is
-where you don't care that you smell like feet, sweat, and something else I have yet to identify
-where you sing songs about boys and get pixy stix stuck up your nose
-where you find the most beautiful testimony meetings and where girls cry clear tears instead of black ones

Sounds pretty fabulous to me. :)

Of course, I'm too old for the real thing so welcome to "Girls' Camp Rejects Simulation". (I hope that doesn't sound as cool as "Girls' Camp" to you because it isn't.) I know all too well that nostalgia isn't quite as fun when you're sitting on your bedroom floor eating pixy stix alone so I got you some too. Watch it. Those guys are tricky.

So flick off the daddy long-legs, pull your sleeping bag up to your chin and enjoy :)

...hahahahahahaha :D

Brother McGuire and Brother Makin enjoyed their security duties a little too much by bombing us with water balloons all week. So we enjoyed watching them do a billion jumping jacks and push ups to make up for it.

Best camp leaders of all time. Not sure why this is the only picture I have of them, but I think this says it all ;)

As older sister and girl's camp legend, Brookie french braided my hair every year :)

Indian Springs: Best. Ward. Ever. :)

*Not pictured: Most things- The skill level of a 14 year-old with a disposable camera is only so high. 
1. Shirt monsters and sleeping bag worm impressions with Katrina Wood
2. The look on my face when my leader walked in on me in the porta potty
3. The family of raccoons that moved in when I dropped a bag of m&ms and ran away
4. A delicious lasagna
5. The "lost bra and panties" flagpole
6. The only shooting star I ever saw
7. The girl who had lice and forgot to tell anyone until Friday
8. Some ugly crafts. No offense. 

There are lots of other camp-ish things I could tell you about, but if this simulations gets too real, I might get a tick and let's be honest...I didn't love camp THAT much. 

Love, Kelli 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Once an Okie, Always an Okie. Never been prouder.

I thought I was used to this sort of thing. "Ooooooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains" and all that jazz. But you know what? Tonight, I was scared. I watched those tornadoes rip up this beautiful place I call home and then I put on my puppy slippers and I cried. 

Even after the storm moved on, it was hard to feel grateful for my safety when I could see so many other people's lives being torn apart. I wanted to do a Wonder Woman twirl and become a firefighter or a doctor or a millionaire or a giant eraser to just get rid of the last few hours. Yeah right. So now what? What in the world can little me do in a situation that seems so helpless? Here's what: I can make sure that at least for me, things like this don't happen for nothing. I can learn the lessons staring me in the face and I can change the way I live my life. Sometimes it takes moments like this to realize you're doing it all wrong.

You guys, tonight I brushed my teeth in my own bathroom with my feet planted in their usual grooves in my own carpet. Tonight, I kissed my parents and little sister goodnight and I could feel their breath on my cheek. I tripped over that pair of shoes that I thought I needed so badly and that I complain about when they give me blisters. Tonight, I knelt by my very own bed on my bruise-less knees that bend just right and I thanked a merciful God for watching over my family, my friends, and I, and asking Him to watch over those who, starting tonight have a painfully different journey ahead of them.  

So when I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be grateful for that obnoxious alarm beep. I'm going to look people in the eyes when I talk to them. I'm going to make sure my family and friends know how much I love them because oh my heavens, I LOVE them. I'm going to take a little bit longer to say my prayers because I know my Father in Heaven can hear me. Thank you to everyone who has gone through the pain so that I can learn the lesson. Thank you for being strong so that I don't have to be. 


Now, I want you all to know, I felt silly for writing something as personal and...dramatic as this, but I decided it's ok to feel. That's how we grow. It's what makes us human and sharing those feelings is what helps us connect. So wherever you live, whatever you experience today or tomorrow or a year from now, know that you have people all around you who love you and who have ears that are pretttty good at listening. More importantly, remember that you have a God who loves you and who has ears that are even better at it. He's going to make everything alright in the end. So don't you worry about a thing. Everything's just gonna be great. :) 

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid." John 14: 27

Love, Kelli 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Book of Revelation: No one ever goes in. No one ever comes out.

ROUS, fire, and darkness...um, Westley says no. At least that's what I thought until today. It turns out that what seemed like the Fire Swamp was actually Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, minus Tim Burton and the Little People.

In 10th grade, I decided I wanted to read the Bible from cover to cover. Now here I am, right in the middle of the very book I've been afraid of since the beginning and guess what? It's not so scary anymore. In fact, it may have taken six years, but now that I'm here, I've discovered my new favorite scripture:

Revelation 7:14-17

14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
15 Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple: and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.
16 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.
17 For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters; and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.

I've never heard a more beautiful description of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Our Savior has the power to make us completely clean if we'll just let Him. Guys. We just have to let Him. What a great big Brother. I know there is not a thing I could ever do to thank Him for saving my life, but the very least I can do is "serve him day and night".

Ok, I'm almost done. But none of what I just said matters at all if we don't do something real about it. What does "serve him day and night" even mean? To me it means loving every person the way the Lord loves him or her. It means loving that lady who cuts me in line at the store because maybe she didn't even see me and wants to be on time for work. It means loving that annoying little boy screaming at his mom for an ice cream cone because if I could get away with that at this age, I'd probably do the same thing. It means loving my mom enough to put down my book for a second and helping make dinner. It means loving my dad enough to make my own money so he doesn't have to do all the work. It means ignoring every "I'm doing fine" and digging deeper because there's always more to it than that. It means calling Grandma, remembering someone's name, or picking up a friend's favorite candy, just because. It means loving no matter what.

Who knew that four little verses could teach so much? Yeah, The Book of Revelation was pretty intimidating. But then Charlie walked inside and now he gets chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh and guess what? Now you're Charlie too, ya lucky duck.

Love, Kelli

Thursday, May 16, 2013

What You'd Know If You Were Me

I figured now is as good a time as any to establish a little credibility. 

Second only to singing along to the radio, when I'm by myself in the car, my favorite thing to do is smack my gum as loudly as possible. I despise listening to other people do it, but there's something satisfyingly supernatural about going against social norms and having friends simultaneously. Plus I'm getting really good at it. Seriously, once I figure out what exactly the word 'decibel' means, I'll tell you the record to beat . 

Sometimes when I put on my concealer, I pretend like I'm Rafiki when he paints Simba on that tree. 

(If you try this, make sure you don't forget to rub it in. Failing to do so will result in adverse effects.)

Finally, you'd know that the phrase 'trump card' doesn't actually have anything to do with Donald Trump. Unfortunately, you wouldn't have known that if you were me, say, yesterday.

Love, Kelli

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Whole New World...


-I do not sew
-I do not cook
-I am not a photographer
-I definitely am not a mom
-I do not save money
-It has taken me at least a month to figure out how a person makes a blog.

All of that aside, welcome to my new blog! I've always felt like I didn't fit into the world of blogging. There are lots of things I don't know much about yet, so what would I even talk about? A spider crawled up the toilet towards me yesterday. So what? That's when I realized something. I like to talk and I know how to type. So here I am :)

You don't have to know how to sew. You don't even have to know what a 'pot' is (for future reference, dictionary.com calls it a container of earthenware metal). You just have to like reading in the closest thing I could find to Comic Sans and we'll get along just fine.